Relationships with Others

“The Greek word koinonia means “community” in its deepest and most mysterious sense. God Himself, existing in the Trinity, is koinonia in His very nature. We can only truly understand ourselves when we lay claim to the image of God. We must recognize that, like God, the truth of who we are centers in our community. Our very nature demands that we fully embrace our relationships with others…Why were we created? God created humans for loving relationships. If God is love, then the universe was made out of love. God can only be defined in terms of love because His very essence is one of the loving relationships of the Three Persons of the Holy Trinity. For love to be love, it must extend.” (Reverend Christopher T. Metropulos, D. Min)

“The fruit of righteousness is life-giving to others, for a righteous man does not remember wrongs done to him. But the ways of remembering wrongs are death-giving to others, for these ways destroy personal relationships...issues and debates are not unimportant, but the relationships in Christ are of paramount importance…God has wired human beings so that spiritual influence occurs most commonly through relationships…Love creates relationships. But the loving bond between us grows in the fertile soil of trust…feelings of secure affection toward another depend on mutual trust. In a relationship of fidelity, no one needs to be hesitant, uncertain, and guarded–that is, distrustful. But those who are confident of each other’s faithfulness are free to depend on each other’s constancy.” (Orthodox Study Bible, Proverbs 12:31, David Kinnaman & Gabe Lyons, Fr. Basil)

“We all need work on authentic relationships…Authentic relationships are necessary in order to experience love as God created love. Love is a sense of oneness and unity and this isn’t possible when relationships remain strictly on the surface. So, while vulnerability is hard—no one likes showing vulnerability—this is the only way to authentic relationships, which we all need and which we all crave…not every relationship in our life is going to allow for vulnerability. But we will have a hard time getting through life without any relationship where there can be vulnerability….An “authentic” relationship involves vulnerability. We need authentic relationships. Most of us crave authentic relationships. A big part of encouragement involves building authentic relationships.” (Fr. Stavros Akrotirianakis)

“If everything we did was in the spirit of “as if we were doing it to our Lord Jesus Christ”, imagine how different our relationships would be with everyone. We then indeed would be acting toward each person as if they were created in the image and likeness of God. We would each be very changed people (Repent!) if we did this. Of course, this would not guarantee how others might react to us, and we shouldn’t love others just to manipulate them. We should treat others in love, as if they were Christ, no matter how they react to us. (I’m talking here about ‘normal’ healthy relationships, not one in which one is being abused by the other). We have an idea what Christ might mean when He tells us to “Repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand” (Matthew 3:2) – repent is to change one’s heart mind. This is exactly what would happen in each of us if we treated others as if we were dealing with Christ.” (Fr. Ted Bobosh)

“Judgment, in Hebrew and Aramaic the same word as “justice,” is the establishment or reestablishment of this order on earth. Justification is the setting of things or persons back into the proper order of things and the correct set of relationships with their Creator and the rest of the creation…So, forgiveness is not only personal liberation from guilt and the consequences of sin, but also the restoration of integrity in relationships, both vertical--between man and God, and horizontal--between human beings.” (Fr. Stephen De Young, Nikolai Gerasimov)

“On this basis, the prime concern of the Church is respect for and protection of the human person as the distinctive feature of human existence. The person isn’t an individual. An individual is to be understood as a unit, isolated in itself. A person is an identity, a particular presence, which emerges from his or her relationships with other people. It’s been said that the secret of the personhood is free relationships with others and the practical recognition of each person’s differences in a loving relationship with other people. These relationships aren’t a luxury for us, but a necessity, if we’re to be a real person, unique and irreplaceable, a free being and identity. It’s not possible for a person to live alone.” (Angelos Alekopoulos)

“Prayer is a time and place where other people can’t bother us. This is how we usually handle it. And this is precisely where the trap lies: in transforming our prayer into something impractical, utopian, outside the daily changes in our life and, in particular, outside our relationships with others. It’s precisely this danger that Christ points out: the transformation of our living communion with God within our everyday reality into a religious practice cut off  from life. But he doesn’t restrict himself to pointing out the danger. He also shows us how to avoid it: by seeking forgiveness from those we’ve hurt, from those we’ve distressed, from those we’ve cut off from communion with us because of our hostility. Communion with God is proper and effective only after we’ve restored communion with other people, without asking whether they’re the ones to blame. Otherwise our prayer’s just a Pharisaical, religious form…” (Professor Vasileios Stoyiannos)

“I think that it is important for us to remember that God wishes that we all strive for and in fact experience both peacefulness and quietude in the course of our daily lives. He wants our thoughts to be calm and undisturbed, that we be free of every feeling of animosity, and that our relationships with others be characterized by qualities of kindness and deference.” (Fr. Andrew Demotses)

“Identifying the hidden or disenfranchised losses in our lives and working through them fully enables us to gain more insight into ourselves, which makes us a healthier person in every way. It removes obstacles in our relationship with God, improves our relationships with others, and makes more room for the peace of God. It allows joy to take hold in our hearts, enables us to live in the present moment, and perhaps most importantly, it helps us to forgive.” (Fr. Joshua Makoul)

“Our relationships with others reflect the state of our souls. If we have peace in our hearts, we will relate to others in peace. But if anger, worry, or confusion churn in our hearts, we will project this turmoil on others…despite the Bible affirmation that we are created in the image and likeness of God, we don't seem to appreciate that God loves us for who we are as real people (our “ordinary” selves). Instead we seem to reject our birthright at times. We move through the world feeling bad about ourselves (because of our mistakes and sins), and we forget about God's deep love—a love that should be the solid basis of a self-esteem which would enable us to form sound relationships with others.” (Fr. Basil, Robert J. Wicks)

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