Self-Judgment
“The fear of God brings peace and tranquility to the heart. Fear as a phobia is demonic fear. Who is the most neurotic? The devil. And the fear instilled by him gives rise to precisely this state in the heart…I compare and contrast repentant lamentation over sins and neurotic self‑criticism. Repentant lamentation over sins gives rise to peace, tranquility, and joy in the heart. But neurotic self‑criticism is like grinding water in a mortar, like running in circles, sorrow for sorrow and nothing else. It doesn’t bring anything constructive.” (Dmitry Avdeev)
“Shaming is a poor motivator and results in more negative performance, as the one being shamed engages in a self-fulfilling prophecy: “After all, if I am ‘bad,’ then how can I do good things? I must resign myself to my fate of being bad…The goal of the double jeopardy amendment is to avoid a retrial after an acquittal or a conviction, and multiple punishments for the same crime. Yet that is precisely what we do to ourselves. We try ourselves over and over for the same offense, then inflict repeated punishments of self-hate, guilt, and rejection. This is wholly unjust and ethically wrong.” (Fr. Joshua Makoul, Richard Paul Evans)
“Many of us have an unhealthy dialogue recurring in our heads where we are egotistically self-critical (though we don’t think of it that way). I think about what St. Paul teaches about Christ living in us or the sin living in us. This reminds me not to take myself too seriously regarding the good I do and the sin I commit. Knowing that the good I do is the goodness of Christ and choosing to participate in it helps me with humility and not having an overinflated view of my own goodness. Knowing that where I fall short is the disease of sin working in me allows me to still understand the gravity of sin, but keeps me from a neurotic self-criticism, as if I’m the center of the universe, while not diminishing my desire and need for repentance.” (Sacramental Living Ministries)
“In the Patristic tradition, a special place is given to such an ascetical practice as self-reproach. Not in the sense of self-flagellation or self-abasement, but rather as a healthy ability to see personal responsibility in any situation. This is, if you will, using the language of modern psychology, the most constructive way to resolve complex situations.” (Julia Balayants)
“Today is the Sunday of the Prodigal Son — one of the most beloved days of the entire Church year (especially by us monastics). It is easy to understand why it is so beloved. Today is the day of repentance par excellence, upon which the entire Gospel is founded: “Repent, for the Kingdom is at hand” (Matt. 4:17). And it is a day which helps us to understand repentance as it truly is: not as some dismal embrace of guilt, shame, and self-loathing, nor as some unpleasant but still necessary duty imposed upon us by a strict and legalistic deity, but rather as freedom from eternal bondage and misery, escape from the “far country” of a meaningless life (and an equally meaningless death), and above all, the unfathomable gift of our Heavenly Father’s unconditionally loving embrace — no matter who we are, no matter what we have done, and no matter how greatly we have squandered all that His love has given us before.” (Igumen Gabriel)
“Sometimes we judge ourselves (and others!) too harshly, focusing on our flaws and we don’t turn to God because we view God through this harsh and incorrect mindset and believe He is just as harsh and unloving as us. This mindset is easy to acquire when we think of God the Father as angry and wrathful and needing to sacrifice His son to appease His wrath (of course, one could look at this as He also loves us so much to sacrifice His Son, but either way appeasement is needed from this point of view). This is why instead of focusing on just punishment due to sin, we tend to focus on healing and restoration and purging the illness of sin. This is natural since we understand the Persons of the Trinity to be of one loving will who completely and willingly fought and defeated evil out of love for us through the death and resurrection of Christ.” (Sacramental Living)
“Post-modernists are often idealists and perfectionists, and many of them feel guilty and sinful simply for having temptations...it is helpful to affirm for them that God understands and loves them. It is also helpful to reaffirm that all of us who share flesh, share temptation. Christ became man to share even these temptations and to save us…While it is sometimes good to be intense and perfectionist, giving us advantages over less-careful students or workers, in this arena it is destructive. It leads to feelings of isolation and self-condemnation. I challenge those who fall into this to consider what is fair: Is it fair to judge yourself more harshly than you judge or would judge your friends? Is it reasonable to judge yourself instead of accepting God’s mercy and love? People need to understand that such self-condemnation is pride, and that we are taking God’s place in judging. In situations like this, a call to repent (change one’s mind) is a welcomed one.” (Fr. John Abdalah)
“…judgment is something which goes on constantly within ourselves… a tension between our thoughts and our emotions and our feelings and our actions which stand in judgment before us and before whom we stand in judgment. But in this respect we very often walk in darkness, and this darkness is the result of our darkened mind, of our darkened heart, of the darkening of our eye, which should be clear. It is only if the Lord himself sheds his light into our soul and upon our life, that we can begin to see what is wrong and what is right in us …God does not reveal to us the ugliness of our souls unless He can see in us sufficient faith and sufficient hope for us not to be broken by the vision of our own sins. In other words, whenever we see ourselves with our dark side, whenever this knowledge of ourselves increases, we can then understand ourselves more clearly in the light of God, that is, in the light of the divine judgment. This means two things: it means that we are saddened to discover our own ugliness, indeed, but also that we can rejoice at the same time, since God has granted us his trust. (Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh, St. John of Kronstadt)
“When you are praying either inwardly only, or both inwardly and outwardly, be firmly convinced that the Lord is there, by you and within you, and hears every word, even if only said to yourself, even when you only pray mentally; speak from your whole heart, sincerely, judge yourself likewise sincerely, without in the least justifying yourself; have faith that the Lord will have mercy upon you - and you will not remain unforgiven. This is true. It is taken from experience.” (St. John of Kronstadt)
“The purpose of God’s intimate knowledge of His servants is protective and helpful, not judgmental and condemning.” (Foundation Study Bible, Psalms 139:5)
“The most damaging statements that have ever been said about us are those things we have said about ourselves to ourselves.” (Pastor Timothy Keller)
“We cannot accurately judge ourselves because we do not see the truth (not even of ourselves). By the same token, we do not and cannot judge others rightly. We are simply incompetent as judges.” (Father Stephen Freeman)
"…when I am judgmental I become utterly incapable of being helpful; when I try to play God’s role of Judge, I close myself off from His grace-filled mercy. I also display a lack of self-knowledge…" (Sr. Dr. Vassa Larin)
“The Lord holds everyone accountable for self-management, from the inmate in the narrowest prison cell to the ruler presiding with great power “over a multitude of nations.” (OCPM 7/6/2016)
“When we begin to grasp the extent of God’s mercy toward us, we see what true love is and how deeply God loves us.” (Life Application Study Bible, Deuteronomy 10:17)
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