Loss
- Michael Haldas
- 1 day ago
- 3 min read
“Some forms of loss that are often ignored, or are not as readily identifiable as loss, are divorce (our own or our parents’), traumatic experiences, a painful or dysfunctional childhood, loss of a normal childhood, loss of a parent due to addiction or mental illness, loss of a job, loss of health, moving, children growing up, and the empty-nest experience These are called disenfranchised losses because society does not readily or actively recognize them as losses. As a result, when we experience such a loss, we risk skipping over the grief process needed to move on.” (Fr. Joshua Makoul)
“ In the plethora of human experiences, grief is perhaps the most universal and most likely the most difficult with which to cope… grief demands that the event that precipitated the grief become meaningful. Yet how can the loss of a person that held together one’s inner world possibly become meaningful? How can a meaningless loss ever become a meaningful gain? Somehow, one needs to find a thread of meaning that can allow one to be grateful for the past, to accept the present, and have hope for the future, but where can that golden thread be found? He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how…In a sea of grief, our life raft is certainly meaning. The proper attribution of meaning in the context of grief allows the bereaved to heal and move forward…“Although facing the loss of a loved one is a painful and often scary time in one’s life, the power of the human spirit to make sense of one’s tragedy and create something of beauty is amazing. We are capable of much more than is sometimes understood…It is in these moments of courage, in the moments of moving forward into uncertainty and still believing that we have meaning, in spite of the often meaningless feelings attached to the death of someone we love.” (Hieromonk Alexis Trader, Victor Frankl, Michael Motes)
“I began to wonder if perhaps the medicine of Christ’s great love at work in me…means that though grief and doubt and loss are still mine to bear as I wait for the renewal of the world, my own ordeal, my own suffering (and that of my children) will not ultimately unravel us, but rather gradually leave us with hearts swept clean of anything but hope, but love. I think it will take awhile. It takes a long while for love to be perfected, for us to be so healed by God’s love that our fear is really cast away.” (Sarah Clarkson)
“… During the very times when losses occur and crises strike, the opportunity is especially present for us to realize how much God is at the center of our lives, at the heart of ourselves, and on the horizon of our destiny in new, refreshing ways. Until then, the covenant we have with God may be vague, a mere backdrop, or practically forgotten. It isn’t the deep relationship implied by the word covenant. A crisis or loss can shake the dust of denial off of our possibly childish relationship with the Lord; it can remind us of our vulnerability and dependence on the creator and cut through the massive games of pseudo-independence we have played. Our first response to this shaking may well be to cry out in anguish, shock, anxiety, impatience, and indignation at our tragedy.” (Robert J. Wicks)
“Grieving is the natural way we go about adjusting to loss. It’s the way we gradually come to know deep within ourselves—whether we like it or not—that the loss is real… We are not expected to “get over” loss at any point….There is no shame in weeping five months, five years or fifty years after a loss…we need the healing presence of Christ that comes from others…we only warm handclasp or an embrace of loving compassion to beautifully express…concern and Christian love.” (Danielle Xanthos, Joan Guntzelman, Rev. Andrew Demotses)
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