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Resolved/Unresolved

“It is hard to get through life without accumulating life experiences that leave a mark on us. If we move through our lives and those life experiences remain unresolved, they can resurface later and make our transition into later life stages more painful and difficult…By embracing humility, insight, self-awareness, and no small amount of motivation, we can learn to navigate any life crisis.” (Melinda Johnson)


“When we have old wounds, even from childhood, we are all the more likely to project onto others our ideas and expectations, which are even more distorted by the old resentments. This is delusion. Our old wounds and resentments may be completely unconscious…When we transfer old unresolved issues onto someone, our idea of that person has very little to do with the person him- or herself. We dredge up old issues with them, and put all the energy of the old resentment into it. This, of course, can destroy relationships. How do you get out of this? I’m not sure—other than by patience, perseverance, and unconditional love. You have to somehow break through the delusion and see who the person really is.” (Hieromonk Jonah)


“Each of us takes a different approach to resolving the unresolved. There is such a wide spectrum of responses to the experiences in our lives that have left a painful mark on us…we see lives where people are driven to find peace, closure, and resolution. Their goal is total and complete healing from their past experiences so they can be completely unhindered by their past. These lives often manifest a relentless pursuit of healing. They leave no stone unturned and become like tireless investigators in their lives who want to solve and find answers to their struggles. Truly, this could be called a healing driven life. This work is not merely “psychological” it is spiritual. It is a life of transfiguration. It is a life spent in the pursuit of living as God meant for us to live. It is to remove all the emotional roadblocks so we can achieve full communion with God without being hindered by fear, distorted perceptions, and misguided motivations. However, there is a short-term cost. It is painful and there will be struggle. However, the rewards are great. There will be short-term pain but long-term gain. It is truly ascetical work and part of our spiritual life.” (Fr. Joshua Makoul)


“I think sometimes I don’t want to be saved. I don’t want God to calm the waves inside me. I want God to give me an answer. I want God to fit all of the pieces of the puzzle together for me. I’m holding out. I’m enduring the storm in the vain expectation that if I suffer long enough it will all somehow make sense to me. It seems I want things to make sense more than I want peace…I realized that to have peace, to let Christ calm the waves disturbing my mind, I have to first let go of the waves. I have to let them go away unexplained, unresolved, unanswered. I have to be willing, just like the Disciples, only to worship Him.” (Fr. Michael Gillis)


“When we commit to resolving the unresolved in our lives, we are not doing it only for ourselves, but for everyone else in our life as well…we do it for all of humanity, so that we might do some part in transfiguring this troubled world into what God meant for it to be. There is an element of self-sacrifice and self-denial in this work…rather than allow myself to be miserable all of my life and affect others, I am going to do this extra work and even go through some temporary suffering in order to heal, so that I might have a healing impact on those around me…this work is not “individualistic” or self-centered. It is our small part towards healing this fallen world and becoming a more effective vessel through which the Holy Spirit might act.” (Fr. Joshua Makoul)


#MelindaJohnson #HieromonkJonah #FrJoshuaMakoul #FrMichaelGillis


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