Self-Centeredness

“It would seem that we are back to the very beginning with the serpent in Eden—the first Gnostic?—whispering that God is not a good God Who loves mankind, and that Eve (and Adam) can attain deification without Him. In fact, the serpent whispers that God is actually preventing people from attaining fulfillment, with all of His commandments and restrictions. This counterfeit gospel always proclaims, “Discover yourself, follow your own star, follow your own desires”—even though so often this results in merely being enslaved to one’s passionate impulses in a self-centered rejection of real love for others, including God and His good creation.” (Dr. Mary S. Ford)

“We seek to self-create and self-define our lives as though we had no source outside of ourselves…To be a Christian in the proper sense, to worship God as Father, Son and Holy Spirit, is to acknowledge that our life does not have its source in ourselves, but in God. Living by this, moment by moment, is what it means to have a true and authentic existence – to be truly human.” (Father Stephen Freeman)

“…we actually can live without gratifying every self-centered desire. The less focused we are on catering to our taste buds and stomachs, the more resources we should have to share with those in need. Growing in selfless compassion for our neighbors is an essential dimension of being illumined with the light of Christ. There is no more direct way to serve Him than by limiting our self-centeredness and self-indulgence in order to help “the least of these” with whom He identified Himself.” (Fr. Philip LeMasters)

“For each of us to imitate Christ, we have to empty ourselves by setting aside our own egos. If we are full of ourselves, there is no room for God in us. This emptying of the self occurs whenever we fulfill Christ’s command to deny our self and to take up our cross to follow Christ (Mark 8:34). Or, when we do what Christ taught us in Mark 9:35 – “If any one would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.” When we forgive others, when we practice self-sacrifice, when we are humble or put the concern of others ahead of our self, really when we live according to the teachings of Christ, we are on the road to kenosis, to imitating Christ. When I am being selfish, self-centered and self-possessed, when I am egotistical, when my main love is self-love, then I am not walking in imitation of Christ.” (Fr. Ted Bobosh)

“Humility is the path to mental and physical normality and health…In fact, as we grow up, we make a choice between two humilities—before the earthly world or before God. Those who do not choose either are left alone with their pride, which simply eats them up from the inside, making them pariahs, eccentrics, madmen, unsound to others and to themselves alike…Humility (no matter before what) makes a person able to believe in something that is above him and thus allows him to find a point of support and of reference, meaning, purpose and the coordinates of life. Those who humble themselves before “this world” acquire faith in it, its consciousness, ideas and values. Those who humble themselves before the Lord acquire faith in Him, in His power and authority, in His Providence, and receive His mind, desires, and feelings (cf. 1 Cor. 2:16).” (Priest Tarasiy Borozenets)

“We live in an age of impatience and self-centeredness. Anything other than instant gratification easily leaves us frustrated, angry, and discouraged. Of course, that is not a problem only in our time and place. Our Lord’s disciples betrayed, denied, and abandoned Him because they finally realized that He was not going to become a conventional political ruler who would satisfy their desires for earthly glory. As today’s gospel reading shows, even as the Savior predicted His Passion, the disciples James and John were jockeying for position by asking for places of prominence when He came into power. They had no idea what they were asking, of course, for the path to our Lord’s Kingdom requires taking up our crosses in union with His great Self-Offering. Doing so…requires persistent, humble obedience whereby we open ourselves to receive the healing divine mercy of the Lord. Through the struggle of reorienting ourselves to the blessedness of a Kingdom not of this world, we will learn not to serve ourselves in any way, but to manifest Christ’s selfless love for our neighbors.” (Fr. Philip LeMasters)

“There is a reason, for example, that we discuss a certain kind of self-centered personality disorder as “Narcissistic,” making reference to a character in Greek mythology. Oedipal, erotic, cupidity, stygian, the Midas Touch, martial, and a host of other terms within our language make reference to ancient “myths,” not as an effort to be obscure, but because the stories within the myths carry a weight and a meaning that mere clinical language, devoid of such reference, lacks.” (Father Stephen Freeman)

“We don’t have good judgment in our heart today. Thomas was absent from the assembly, from the meeting of the other apostles. He may have been thinking about the intervening events and so had no inclination to join the others. This is also the case with today’s self-centered people. They think about matters of faith on their own…For them, the Church isn’t communion with their brothers and sisters, but the performance of a religious duty. How can they experience the joy of Christ and celebrate the feast when their orientation is self-centered? When their rationale is ‘every man for himself’. It was this thinking that led the disciples to abandon Christ at the Passion, the Cross and the burial. But Christ did away with this rationale when he greeted them all in the upper room in Jerusalem. Thomas’ lack of belief is justified, not only because of his wounded rationalism, but, more importantly, through his self-centeredness. This is why the Lord would allow eight days to pass: to restore the communion of Thomas with the rest of the apostles at the right time; so that Thomas could become at one with them again; and so that, as a member of the assembly, he could experience the truth of the Resurrection, the encounter with the risen Christ. Love leads to unity and without love as the motivating force, there is no encounter and truth, because the latter is personal, is neither communicated nor confirmed and cannot overcome doubts.” (Protopresbyter Themistoklis Mourtzanos) 

“Christ offers us a way to embrace humanity – our own and that of others through love. His way is to overcome self-centeredness, selfishness, and self-love by denying the self and seeking to love the other. But the extreme individualistic tendency of some cultures pushes back against love for others by focusing on love for self which only further divides the people of the world.” (Fr. Ted Bobosh)

“And what does it mean to pray effectively? It does not so much have to do with outcomes as it does to move us from our own self-centeredness and tendency toward self-will and align us with God’s good and perfect will.” (Sacramental Living)

“James [James 3:13-18] is also leery about us counseling others, for what is offered as wisdom can be based on pride and other sinful passions. Self-centered faith will manifest itself in self-centered works, in this case “helping” others.” (Orthodox Study Bible, James 3:13-18)

“The mind is the great defense system we need to process all the information we receive. However, in so doing, the mind is self-centered, judgmental, and fearful of attack. It expects and assumes the worst from the world, from other people, and ultimately from God. Every detail in the universe is measured by the mind against its usefulness to the mind’s story of the self, the ego. The mind attempts to replace the real center of being, the heart, with a center of its own creation.” (Father Stephen Freeman)

“We do not like to think of ourselves as selfish or self-centered egotists. But if we were to be completely honest with ourselves, we would be forced to admit that we have a strong tendency in that direction…“In those times when all was going well, when it seemed that nothing could go wrong and when I thought that I was doing a wonderful job, I would look up at the saying and I would be reminded that this too, shall pass away. I was chastened by the thought that I was becoming self-assured, self-centered, and full of pride for what I thought were my many accomplishments. I was reminded that it is God who gives the increase.” (Fr. Andrew Demotses)

“…Christianity affirms the self, but as dependent for its very existence upon the creative power of God and the redemptive grace of Christ. Each and every one of us is created, sustained, and guided by God toward a destiny so glorious that it is essentially indescribable. It is this humble acknowledgment of dependence on God that becomes the foundation of that long process that will lead us from being “self-centered” to being “God-centered.”  Perhaps we can go so far as to say:  we seek to be saved from our “self” in order to truly be ourselves in the embrace of God. Today’s world seems oblivious of this promise.” (Fr. Stephen Kostoff)

“Contemplation is the way out of the great self-centered psychodrama. When interior silence is discovered, compassion flows. If we deepen our inner silence, our compassion for others is deepened.” (Martin Laird)

“Pride believes that we are the center of our own realities and that our human efforts can forge a meaningful life without God…We are so instinctively and profoundly self-centered that we don't think we are.” (Kevin Scherer, Pastor Timothy Keller)

“At the core of today’s rejection of God, rejection of the Church and faith, is a subtle, yet deeply embedded self-centeredness. It seems that if life and the universe don’t make sense according to how we think it should be, then anything that says otherwise, such as the Gospel that teaches suffering and evil truly exist, you will suffer, but one day God will put an end to all suffering and evil, is rejected on the basis of what we think it should say instead.” (Sacramental Living Ministries)

“After years of testing and development, the Army unveiled a major new marketing program with the tagline, “an army of one.” It is odd to hear an institution so deeply linked with teamwork, community, and sacrifice being promoted with a phrase placing all the emphasis on the individual. To be fair, the campaign was also intended communicate that it was about one army with one vision and one mission. But, the recruiters who built the campaign also clearly stated that they felt the best way for them to reach young people today was to strike a note that on the surface appealed to self-centeredness.” (Douglas Cramer)

“How could intelligent people turn to idolatry? Idolatry begins when people reject what they know about God. Instead of looking to him as the creator and sustainer of life, they see themselves as the center of the universe. They soon invent “gods” that are convenient projections of their own selfish ideas. These gods may be wooden figures, or they may also be goals or things we pursue, such as money, power, or possessions. They may even be misrepresentations of God himself—making God in our image, instead of the reverse. The common denominator is this: Idolaters worship the things God made rather than God himself.” (Life Application Study Bible, Romans 1:21-23)

“There is no wisdom apart from centering in on and responding to the love of God….if we are to bring peace into the world, it starts with us, with our individual witness for God, in peace and in service to others. If we truly want peace, we must first do what is pleasing to God by making Him the source and center of our lives. Then we can find peace as individuals, and then in small groups and then in large groups and then build from there.” (Foundation Study Bible, Psalms 107:43, Fr. Stavros N. Akrotirianakis)

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